Justin was there at the premiere of moi's movie, and then we all went to the after party. It was clear to everyone that he wanted kissy-kissy time with moi, but my heart belongs to Kermie. He said yea, and I say nay. He crooned yea, and I oinked nay. It went back and forth like that through the evening until he looked at me with those big eyes of his and said, "I want to make you one less lonely pig." Nature took its course. Now we're going to have a baby!The scientific community is left collectively scratching its head at this turn of affairs. If Justin is the father, then this is the first time a child has been the result of a man and Muppet union. Maxwell Longstreet PhD, and head of the biology department of Freedonia University, had this to say,
The improbability of a child arrising from Miss Piggy and Justin Bieber's fiery passion is highly improbable. I mean, not only are man and pig totally different species and genetically incompatable with each other, but Miss Piggy is a Muppet. I don't even know how Muppets make other Muppets, and I don't want to know!
Someone who has been quiet during the scandal is Kermit the Frog. The mild-mannered amphibian is currently taking time to himself. His agent stated that Kermit is catching up on his reading, finding peace in doing yoga and reflecting on what's it really means to be green.