Wednesday, December 7, 2011

An entire town made up of criminaliens detained.

Zero tolerance.
Mount Dora, Florida - In the wake of nationwide mass deportations of illegal aliens an entire community has been uprooted in Florida. This morning agents swept into the tiny hamlet of Mount Dora and detained 99.98% of the population. Thomas Osceola, the agent in charge of the sweep, had this to say,

We entered the community this morning at 5AM, and proceeded to do a house to house search for criminaliens. The occupant of each residence was asked to show appropriate documentation that they are citizens. Not to our surprise a vast majority did not. Following preexisting guidelines we tagged each individual on the ear with a bright yellow ID. The operation was done by 11AM and the illegals are detained until proper transportation can be arranged for them to be sent back to their country of origin.

When questioned how long it will take to arrange proper transportation the Mr. Osceola stated, "There are no buses to Spain, England, or anywhere else to that continent from here. The detainees and their families will have to wait."

Ever since the Supreme Court ruled that central Florida actually belongs to the native Seminole population, the tribe have been warning the illegal occupants to obtain the proper paperwork or face expulsion. However, no one expected the retirement town of Mount Dora to be ground zero for the zero tolerance policy. A myriad of angry emails and telephone calls from the children and grandchildren of the detainees flooded the tribe's central office as soon as the word got out. The Seminole tribe has only stated that if the relatives of the illegals wish to get their relatives out before Christmas, then they will need to fly down, and spend a week in the tribe's casino. There is no set amount per detainee that the families will have to spend at each casino. At the end of the week the  family members will be told if they have spent enough. If they haven't, then another week is necessary.

"We find that under the current circumstances this is a firm but fair policy," Mr Osceola stated.