Monday, December 5, 2011

The Royal Family is going to "earn" less welfare.

A tragedy in the making:
fewer outrageous
London, England - The world's preeminent monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, is suffering economically just like her subjects. The British government has announced that the Royal Family is about to begin the most austere of all austerity measures. David Cameron, Prime Minister for the United Kingdom, had this to say about the new plan.

The United Kingdom is facing the greatest economic downturn since World War II. In light of this sobering fact Queen Elizabeth and her family are making sacrifices just like the rest of us. Our monarch's budget for extremely silly hats have been slashed by 8%. The traditional high tea has been downgraded from a sizable meal of anything from Welsh rabbit and pots of tea, to a snack consisting of a pint of lager and chips.
It is also reported that the Royal Family is seeking out new sources of revenue to deal with this crisis. Prince William and Kate Middleton have just signed a deal with E! entertainment for a reality series: Glam Fam. Glam Fam (short for Glamorous Family) will be about the daily drama of be young, filthy rich, and on public welfare. There is also talk that Glam Fam will have special crossover episodes with the Kardashians.

On the streets of London sentiments are mixed. The Newest Newsy News went out and asked the locals what they thought. Does it get cold in Buckingham Palace? I have an extra space heater if she needs one, stated one elderly woman. I heard that tax payers won't be paying for their travel expenses. That's not right. It'll give the Germans the idea that we can't afford to treat our royalty well, answered one businessman. They've been taking the piss out us for too long. I say send'em to work at Euro Disney, intoned one student.