Sunday, May 10, 2015

Forget About Deflate Gate -- Tom Brady Wins Mayweather-Pacquiao Rematch

Tom Brady has officially been called as the winner of the Mayweather-Pacquiao rematch. The rematch between Floyd Mayweather, winner of the first fight, and Manny Pacquiao will end in the fifth round with the quarterback of the New England Patriots officially called the victor.

Floyd Mayweather was the first to notice that there was a possibility of some wrongdoing. "It wasn't until I was leaving the stadium when I first thought that there was something wrong," stated Mr. Mayweather.

Reports from boxing officials state that there were a few discrepancies discovered in between the first and second rounds of the fight, which were rectified immediately. "You could see how Brady could've gotten an edge in that first round of the Mayweather-Pacquiao rematch, but from the second round to the end of the fight that was classic Brady," stated Boxing Commissioner, Bill Belichick.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Koch Brothers Accuse Bernie Sanders Of Being A Puppet To BIG Maple

Behind that smile is a heart corrupted
by maple syrup.

Andrew Kannard, official spokesperson for the Koch Industries Incorporated Action Committee (KochPAC), called a news conference where Vermont Senator and Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders was accused of being a pawn of the maple syrup industry.