Sunday, May 10, 2015

Forget About Deflate Gate -- Tom Brady Wins Mayweather-Pacquiao Rematch


Tom Brady has officially been called as the winner of the Mayweather-Pacquiao rematch. The rematch between Floyd Mayweather, winner of the first fight, and Manny Pacquiao will end in the fifth round with the quarterback of the New England Patriots officially called the victor.

Floyd Mayweather was the first to notice that there was a possibility of some wrongdoing. "It wasn't until I was leaving the stadium when I first thought that there was something wrong," stated Mr. Mayweather.

Reports from boxing officials state that there were a few discrepancies discovered in between the first and second rounds of the fight, which were rectified immediately. "You could see how Brady could've gotten an edge in that first round of the Mayweather-Pacquiao rematch, but from the second round to the end of the fight that was classic Brady," stated Boxing Commissioner, Bill Belichick.
Regardless, the press has been merciless hammering Tom Brady with accusations of cheating. The beleaguered boxing champion and record setting quarterback stated that such charges are "ridiculous".

An investigation from a neutral third party was immediately ordered. The 243 page document known as the Warren Commission Report is an exhaustive retelling of the facts of the pertinent incidences months before the rematch to the minute by minute documentation of each feint and punch of the combatants.

The Warren Commission Report states that two low level assistants of Mr Brady, Jim McNally and John Jastremski, clandestinely affected the outcome of the Mayweather-Pacuiqo rematch.

When directly questioned with the findings of the report, Tom Brady stated that he had no idea of any wrong doing. Boxing Commissioner Bill Bellichick simply ignored the question and went down the DL (disabled list).